Is This The End of Men?

What’s the future for men in the Western world? It seems like everyone’s got an answer.  Sometimes opposing answers. We’ve fought over the question “What Is a woman?” in the culture for some time. But what about men?

In a provocatively entitled little book, The End of Men? (note the question mark), Simon Smart, the Executive Director of Australia’s Centre for Public Christianity (CPX) asks – and provides an answer – to the question, “Where to now for men?”

Simon Smart CPX Director and author of a new book about the end of men.

I heard Simon speak about his book at a breakfast event with some men who are serious heavy-hitters in Sydney recently. What struck me was how his book had provoked them all to think. And to act!

So I decided to ask him what has made this such an important topic.  He offered some compelling, and sometimes surprising conclusions, but ones that, upon reflection, we should have realised. If you are looking for a book to study in a small group one term this year, this would be a cracker.  Hope you enjoy the interview:

Simon why did you write THIS book and why did you write it NOW?

I wanted to contribute something positive into a discussion that’s quite emotive and often negative. There’s a personal side to it too. I have experienced vividly contrasting male environments – some very healthy and some really not. And I’m convinced that there is both a great need, and also huge potential in creating environments where boys and young men will thrive and become people who you’d want to be around if you were a woman, a child, or another man. And there is a lot of discussion around what it means to be a man today. It felt timely. 

You begin your book with what is quite frankly, a confronting story, but one that is familiar to men of a certain age.  What is it about the early years of education that seem to set our identities in, if not stone, at least hard mud?

It’s such a formative time of life isn’t it? You’re right, there is so much from your school years that stays with you – the music, the fashion, the memories of friends or the awkwardness, or dreams you had. It’s also the negative things and the damaging things that can shape much of the rest of your life—how you compensate, or the things you avoid or areas you press in to. There are the memories you cherish too, along with regrets. Writing this book was a reminder of that as I spoke with people who have spent decades recovering from things that happened when they were young. 

The word “toxic” seems to the word that goes in front of the word “masculinity” in the modern West. What do you take that to mean, and how is it helpful and/or unhelpful?

It gets thrown around a lot doesn’t it? It wasn’t used much before 2015 and then only really in academic journals. By 2017, and the momentum of the #MeToo movement there were thousands of mentions in mostly mainstream media. But there is little agreement on a definition and mostly the term is simply an indication of disapproval. It now seems to refer to any male behaviour we don’t like, whether it be truly monstrous or more trivial.

I think it’s used way too lazily. We all know there are some really stark examples of toxic masculinity and that’s to be acknowledged. But experts point out that very few young men will respond well to the suggestion that there’s something inherently toxic about them because they are male. It tends to alienate the men who are not violent or abusive. We need to take care with how we use language. 

While you start with that confronting story about school. In what ways is our education system at risk of failing young men in different ways today?

Our education system has done brilliant and important things for girls in the last 40 years. We need to keep doing those things. I can’t help noticing that girls are outstripping the boys on so many measurements in educational attainment. It’s across the Western world.

It may be that the way we have structured our systems they are very suited to the way girls learn with more open-ended, enquiry-based approaches, whereas boys tend to thrive on structure, discipline and clearly defined objectives and instructions, with analytical and logical approaches to learning. The key is finding ways to help boys and girls to thrive alongside each other.

The title is slightly provocative, slightly ironic.  Other than clickbait what made you come up with it?

It was originally supposed to play on the idea of “end” as both a destination or purpose as well as the obvious cessation of something. Lots of books do that. Perhaps the question mark nullifies it, and just provokes the idea that we don’t need men anymore. There are some women who would agree!

I heard someone say about this book that it is the perfect length for reading on a plane. It also seems the perfect size to leave on the plane for the next bloke. Who do you wish your audience to be?

I’d love to think this is a book for everyone. Men young and old. Teachers, youth leaders, coaches, pastors. Parents for sure. And like everything we do at Centre for Public Christianity, it’s for people who are not people of faith and also for Christians. I have been encouraged by the number of people who have said this is a book they can pass on to friends. So, yes, leaving it on the plane might be a good idea Steve!

Why are some men either checking out altogether or going down the “Andrew Tate” road? 

I think it’s a challenging time to be a man. It’s easy to detect some bewilderment among young men in trying to answer the question, “What does it mean to be a man today?” On the one hand we have moved beyond a really narrow, limiting picture of masculinity and that’ been a really good development. But there is some confusion about what role and place men have now.

In a sense young men find themselves caught between a more traditional picture of masculinity which has not entirely left us, while society has come to idealise nurture and emotional expression. Boys and young men today may well be left wondering about which version of masculinity they are supposed to aspire to. It’s not at all clear what that should be, and the confusion presents a particularly modern challenge.

Many boys are floundering and are coming up short in finding a workable answer to the question of who and what they are supposed to be. And where there is a vacuum, some insidious responses find their way into the consciousness of some boys. It’s a worry and something our various communities would do well to pay attention to.

There’s a definite apologetic in it, and a focus as it concludes (or perhaps, the high point of the book), on Jesus Christ.  How does he model what true manhood is?

I’m from CPX, so it’s no surprise that I would hold up Jesus as a model of masculinity that is worth considering. I think that irrespective of your theological beliefs, Jesus makes for a brilliant picture of healthy masculinity. And a challenging one too. In Jesus we see a restrained strength, composure and compassion.

Throughout the gospels he models a heart for the poor, the sick, the outcasts and rejects. We see an example of openness to the pain of others and emotional engagement, not detachment, with those he encountered. Importantly, he sought to alleviate suffering and to bring life. In a society that valued personal honour and self-aggrandisement, Jesus was all about a life of humility and putting others before himself. He taught that if you want to be truly great, you have to become a servant.

Jesus was someone of action and purpose. He worked hard in a physically demanding job. He fought against injustice and hypocrisy and engaged with his opponents by listening and offering incisive commentary and searching questions. He was deeply respectful of women and tender towards children. 

He refused any kind of violence but was anything but passive. He went willingly into danger to fulfil his mission and courageously faced his enemies and his brutal fate so that others might live. There’s “no greater love” than that as John’s Gospel says.

I could go on!

And finally, the ABC recently reported that young men are now heading down the Christian direction more readily than young women in Australia. Does that surprise you? Why do you think it is?

It does surprise me, as that’s a different pattern to what we would be used to historically. But there are interesting things going on for young men today. There is evidence of them seeking more meaning and purpose than they currently experience. They are tending to be drawn to a bigger story than themselves—to live for something beyond themselves. They are increasingly drawn to commitment and comradery. If you think about it, every one of those instincts can lead you in destructive directions. In the book, I am trying to make a case for formative environments that are intentional, structured, and role-modelled so that boys are steered in pro-social, life-giving directions. There is an urgent need for that. I hope this little book might help contribute something to that conversation. 

You can purchase The End of Men? here or here, depending on your preference and availabilities. In fact, why not purchase five or six copies for a men’s group in 2025. It would make a great discussion starter.