The Manly 7 and Carl Barron’s Ex-Girlfriend

Aussie comedian Carl Barron has a funny set in which he laments the fact that he sent his old girlfriend crazy. In fact, as he goes on to say, she started hallucinating because of him.

And he’s got the evidence to prove it.

As he recounts it, she came home one day and said “Carl I’m seeing someone else!” to which he replied puzzled, “It’s just me love, Carl! I’m standing right here, there’s no one else”.

And then later “Carl I’m sleeping with someone else,”. His reply: “It’s just me lying next to you babe!”

We laugh because we know what’s going on. He’s fooling himself. He’s deluded. The simple fact is that he can’t bear to take her at face value for what she is saying. There’s got to be some other reason, cos you know, he’s Carl, and why would she do that to him? He knows better.

So we laugh.

Sadly it’s no laughing matter in the wake of the seven Manly Rugby League players who refused to wear the Pride jersey. Because here’s what happened: every progressive commentator is doing a Carl Barron.

Manly 7: “Hey, we’re not wearing the Pride jersey because of our religious convictions around sexual matters. Each to their own, but no thanks.

Progressive commentator: “They must be bigoted!

Manly 7: “Hey we’re still not wearing it.”

Progressive (and progressively racist) commentator: “It’s cos they’re Islanders who were duped by colonials back in the 19th century and can’t think for themselves!

Manly 7: “Still ain’t doing it!”

Progressive (and patronising) commentator: “It’s this islander thing where you can’t make a decision outside of what your family and tribe says. They’re victims of an authority structure that they can’t break free from!” (subtext: unlike the rest of us who think and act completely independently of authority structures).

Manly 7: “Uh-uh.”

Progressive (football player) commentator: “That rainbow symbol includes them, it’s for Christians too, don’t they realise that?

Manly 7 “Nope, nope, nope, the cross does that symbolic thing for us just nicely. Has done for centuries!

Progressive (and progressively angry and exasperated) commentator: “Okay, you’re just a bunch of hypocrites who are totally okay with drunkenness and gambling addictions, but somehow draw arbitrary lines around sex.

And so on and so on. Everyone of them is Carl Barroning.

And here’s why: They can’t come to terms with the fact the seven (not all are Islanders btw, one is from Nigerian and Australian Indigenous background), are simply holding to a religious conviction around sexuality that makes them hold up a hand to the Pride jersey.

Sometimes it’s that simple. Unless we need it not to be for some reason.

For to believe the real reason that the Manly 7 offer might give some sort of agency to the very types many progressives wish/need to remove agency from. It’s deeply ironic that the culture that celebrates “You Do You” won’t let them do them. There has to be something or someone else behind it all.

And to put a poison cherry on top of that laxative-laced chocolate cake, today’s Sydney Morning Herald does it’s own Carl Barroning when it celebrates the likes of another League star, Cronulla”s Toby Rudolf, who is pitted as the virtuous open-minded progressive player the code really needs.

The Herald admiringly quotes his conviction that he’d wear the jersey, because as Rudolf puts it:

Sexuality is very fluid. I’ve been out and kissed many gay men, kissed many straight women and kissed many gay women. I’m not a one-stop shop. Love is love, and I love to share it with everyone. That’s probably why I love going to the all the gay bars in Sydney as well – I love dancing with my shirt off and getting down Universal on Oxford St until 2am. You could say I’m open to both genders but only attracted to one of them.

Progressive commentator: “So what you’re saying is that, you’re not really an over-sexed, drunken, paid–too-much-cash, entitled rugby league playing boor, and in actual fact you’re a well thought out, articulate, philosopher-poet who is in touch with his feelings and with the people?

Toby Rudolf: “What? Oh, right, hell yeah!

At least the article went on to report this:

Rudolf landed in hot water during a post-match TV interview at the start of last year when he quipped about his plans to get drunk and go to Northies and “try and pull something; anything will do”.

Who knows, maybe even Carl Barron’s ex girlfriend.